Talks with God: Drop Your Guard NOW

I am actually super nervous to share this post with you guys today…

Buttttt I am going to share what God gave me….Here we go!! While in prayer, God revealed to me the concept of guarding your heart vs. being guarded. To be honest , I truly didn’t know there was a difference between the two concepts. However, I was QUICKLY told otherwise by the Holy Spirit. So what is this difference and how do we “drop our guards” but still “guard our hearts”? Hang on, ’cause Imma tell you ! 😂

Guarding your heart VS Being guarded

The Word tells us to “guard our heart” ( Proverbs 4:23 ) BUT it is key to know how to do this without being “on guard”. And No, these aren’t the same thing.

“Above all else, guard your heart,

    for everything you do flows from it.”

Proverbs 4:23 NIV

To be “guarded”, You are on the defense. Quick to assume the worst because we are “looking for a battle”- looking to defend our stance or belief. But if, we are to be actively “guarding our hearts”– we are doing what the Word says. To “watch” what comes in our ear and eye gates (Proverbs 4:25). The key difference here is in the meaning and tense of the word “guard”.

English wouldn’t be English if we didn’t have multiple definitions for the same word which can change depending on how you use it in a sentence 😂. The Merriam Webster definition of guard in itself gives two options -“to stand at the entrance of as if on guard OR as a barrier”. The word can take either form depending upon the tense. For example, “The place is heavily guarded.” This indicates a barrier. But in the Word it just states ” guard your heart” . This means to stand at the entrance – to monitor what is allowed entry.

Thus, the present tense correlates to us keeping watch over what we internalize i.e peace, love, kindness, and sound biblical teachings etc.

While the past tense is essentially the exact opposite. My heart is more like a fortress and I have built up walls to keep everything out. Think of a room with no door. The trick is to guard your heart but not be guarded; Not build a brick wall where people can not get in or YOU can’t get out .

Why do we do this? 🧐

There are certain times in which this might sound great or we may default to doing so such as after heartbreak, rejection, or what we deem as failure .

I have come to realize that this has been my default setting for quite some time; in my view on relationships and of myself. I am learning that it can be easily misinterpreted that in ” being guarded, I am guarding my heart”.

As a woman, I know I can speak for myself ,and say that it is difficult to navigate through this especially after heart break or rejection because in order to love and receive love –it takes a risk.

Getting hurt creates a fork in the road where we can go one of two ways:

Charge or Defend

1. Charge

Jump right back on the “saddle” and try it again or simply “rush forward”³. Oftentimes, this occurs without thinking of what happened in the situation or the things you control that you can change. We jump back into the application process for schools ( 🙋🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️), or seek/ run to the next person for a relationship (🙋🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️). This can become an issue because one can become a “serial dater”, or simply bottle up emotions. Simply put, we fill a God sized hole with “man”, or busy work.

2. Defend

Close yourself off to everyone or “to prevent or forbid” access to” ^2. Unfortunately, this is where I have been for longer than I’ve realized. I had closed myself off to everyone, everything , & every possibility. The reason why is because– it hurts, to be hurt. It hurts to put yourself out there and not get the same love in return ; Or to push yourself so hard for something that you have dreamed of just to be told “no “. Even after time has passed, this thought process still remains.

Let’s get personal 🙈

I realized that I was on guard when it came to anyone asking me about school (especially when I was still trying to get accepted) and relational. I pushed people away, bottled up emotions and viewed myself negatively because I believed the lies my hurt told me.

Academics

In the school realm, I associated rejection from school to an internal determinate of my own worth. I felt like I had to PROVE to myself that “everything ” I sacrificed was in fact worth it. The late nights, early mornings, no true “college experience”, lost relationships and friendships– EVERYTHING was hinging on my acceptance into medical school and a passing score on the MCAT. So as you can imagine, once I didn’t pass the first time….second time …or third time… I was crushed.

Life

My relationships were affected as well. It was as if everything I “lost” was for NOTHING. I blamed myself for my failed friendships, relationships… EVERYTHING. I felt like I let everyone down and I couldn’t even recognize WHO I WAS.

I started to believe the lies of my hurt and past regrets. Lies such as “you will never find love again” ,”you aren’t enough”, “you will be rejected again”, “the love that you want doesn’t exist”, ” you did ALL that for nothing”, “you sacrificed for nothing because you can’t and you won’t ” and ” the only way you can truly be safe is to have an ‘escape clause'”.

But…..

This is not the love of God nor HOW He sees us or wants US to perceive ourselves. Jesus didn’t have an “escape clause”or a guarantee that we would accept Him and live for Him. We have a will where we can choose to believe in, cling to him, accept him OR not. He made us redeemed, righteous, holy, and so much (Ephesians 1: 7; Romans 5:1; Hebrews 10:10 AMPC) . He never wants us to see ourselves as LESS than that… This is love.

Love is risky business. It is not something that you can go in light heartedly and it is not something that everyone can show or give properly.

For true love — God like love – Agape love, I am learning that in relationships – self, romantic , platonic , whatever — We have to love like God.

This is difficult and it hurts along the way at times but when you do so the rewards of that are greater than the risk. The benefits outweigh the cost.

How do we do this effectively?

I wish I could tell you its as easy as 1, 2, 3 and BOOOM 💣💣💣–> You got it, its yours and all that good jazz. Butttttt honestly, I am still learning how to fully overcome this myself. It isn’t easy whatsoever. But one thing I can tell you is that it is a process. An active process in which you have to embrace and actively choose to “drop your guard ” every single day. This looks different for each person and situation but the common denominator is YOUR MINDSET.

You no longer feed yourself the lies of your hurt but turn to the Word, sound biblical teaching and learn to affirm yourself in this along the way. So your change starts with what you do NOW.

It’s YOUR TURN!!

SOOOO I challenge YOU to join this walk with me!! 😁 Learning together is much better than trying to do this alone lol ( plus some helpful tips and motivation 🙌🏽🙌🏽 No one is going to turn that down!)

How we gone do that, Ash? By following me on social media, hunny!! 😂❤️. YUP ! We are going to continue these “Talks with God” on THE GRAM! Each week, I’ll post my progress and some practices that God is having me do and WOULD love for you to follow along and get involved too!

If you don’t know the IG by now…

😂😂 Seriously!? BUUUUTTT I got you, though! Click the Instagram icon at the bottom or top of the blog page and BOOM 💣💣 –> you in there!

As always, I love to hear from you guys!! ❤️ So feel free to comment below.

XO,

Ashleigh